The Only 2 Heavy Metal Bands I Ever Liked

People often assume for some reason that I like heavy metal, the dumbest, most theatrical, and whitest of all the rock sub-genres. Nothing could be farther from the truth. But there are exceptions to every rule.


First of all, the only good metal band until recently was Spinal Tap, obviously.


But now there's a SECOND great metal band: Bambi Killers!

Oh wait, Spinal Tap are genius comedians, not a heavy metal band. And Bambi Killers are genius performance artists. So... umm... maybe I haven't ever actually liked any heavy metal bands in my entire life.