Snevilistic

2012-02-11T07:05:00.001-05:00

I've known Lucy for years now but I never got to eat her cooking before. It was worth the wait and the dinner lived up to her (and Bethany's) now growing reputation as excellent chefs. Lucy says it's simple to make-- just rice pasta, tomatoes, onions, spinach, and secret magickal ingredients which nobody but a trained chef is allowed to pronounce the names of. All right, she didn't say that last part. I don't think in a million years if you gave me those same ingredients I could come out with an end product that looked anything like this:

Thanks Lucy!!!

Lucy is one of the only people I ever met who is nicer in real life than on TV.
I'm really very proud to get to work with someone who is not just talented but honest and straightfoward and trustworthy.

And that was one of the best dinners I'm ever going to have, too!
TONIGHT:
Roller Derby in Orlando!!

1998

2012-01-04T21:34:00.000-05:00

At the end of the last century, public access television in New York City was an important part of a culture that almost entirely doesn't exist any longer. Look at the hand-drawn 1998 postcard above -- my hostess and our main guest both were on to plug their self-published zines they sold at a local store, SEE/HEAR.
Back then we could promote stores and venues on our shows, it was a different time than now, when we aren't even allowed to say where an artist will perform beforehand!
I think it's a terrible misreading of the intention of the bylaws that results in us not being able to do shows promoting the local community. I have girls from Florida star on my show now. It makes sense for me-- they're nicer than New Yorkers!

Nearly everyone has friends in multiple countries these days, thanks to the internet. Nearly everyone does their business and performs or presents their art internationally. Back then it was really very different, the whole world was local, at least to us DIY artist-types. For the most part, I'd say things are better now for the small or underground artist but I miss things like real local television and real neighborhoods all the artists lived in and local stores selling handmade magazines.

Not THAT much! The internets are vastly superior! Just once in a while.

By the way, this was the worst episode of that show I ever did, but it's not because we didn't have a good guest. The problem that time was we had too many good guests. I'd have to explain the weird time and bizarre subculture the show existed in for you to understand. After all this was 14 years ago! Hardly a man left alive to tell the tale of Williamsburg when it was still scary -- ooooooh!
Actually, Frank Wood has lots better stories than mine about Billyburg, but I can only give you mine.

Okay, P5 was a psychedelic glam queen artist scenester party girl known for wearing outrageous outfits and makeup. She played drums in a band that was favorited by the survivors of the Warhol scene. The first time she came on the show happened in a weird way. This girl from LA who showed me photos to prove she had worked in a record store with Pat Smear had me over her place to meet P5, who proceeded to ask me if she could read incest porn on the show while topless. The other girl volunteered to wear KISS makeup and react comedically (to the incest porn).
I remember insisting P5 wear a bra but otherwise let these two follow their creative vision.
Wouldn't you?
It was going to be on after 1:30am haha.
When it aired, it got 14 calls in 7 minutes, which is a big deal for public access, so P5 was the new star as far as I was concerned and I wanted it to revolve around her.
I didn't know about her Warhol following at first and so I didn't understand the Warhol chatter about our show (until years later when I saw Andy's early "interview" film work, which was alot like our show in a way haha).
P5 was a leader, and she was known in every community, by every ethnicity on every scene. All the graffitti artists knew her by name at least, she was quite streetwise. One time she got annoyed at me for stopping taping while she was talking about how much money she spent on drugs that week, haha! She was so funny, I liked her alot and we had some real fun times as well as hairy times together. We started off doing the show as a party in P5's amazing Pee Wee's Playhouse on acid apartment filled with furniture, walls and doors she'd repainted herself to have a big eyeball on it or something really bizarre. She lived on Bedford and one of the NY Press cartoonists lived in her building so boy cartoonists I won't name would leave their new comic books on her doorstep haha. Anyway, the plan each week was we'd invite twice as many people as we figured we needed to make a good show, and hope half of them showed up.
Everyone would get drunk or whatever (usually both-- it was a trippy scene) and we would tape the show for 2 or 3 hours till the party broke up. I would later on run the shows directly from the camera into a vhs tapedeck for 29 minutes each week and hand in another "episode" but it would be live footage of P5 and her guests getting progressively more wasted week to week. I could get 3 good episodes/weeks out of each taping by cutting away to footage of the bands or other artist guests performing at local clubs that I'd shoot another time, but we would do it as though we were doing a live TV show with no edits or retakes.

This episode above is the one that marked the point when P5 and I accidentally crossed over into doing an "in-fashion" show for a while--
We invited twice as many guests as we needed and EVERYONE showed up!
And it got LOUD really fast, it was just too many people.
It was impossible to hear anyone.
My throat was sore by the end of it.
I watched the footage and wasn't sure what the hell to do with it.
Nobody would be quiet so anyone else could answer a question, it was just horrible, a disaster.
Really good guests but a total disaster.
I sat on the episode and P5 and I thought we should do episodes with girls as guests instead.
Wartella kept asking me to run it, I'd tell him it sucked! haha
He would say yeah but Bob Bert-- Pussy Galore, Sonic Youth's first drummer-- he's great!
And I'd say yeah but you can't hear him on the tape!!
And this went on for months until people were actually getting angry at me for not airing the show,
which utterly baffled me, like everything else with those guys, basically.
So anyway, vainly trying to please the people who were going to be angry at me anyway, I spent forever cutting out the crap, leaving the best parts of the "show" and got like 12-16 usable minutes.
Then I got this other girl to host the segments in her bedroom upstate and explain the action to the folks at home, cutting back and forth to the footage at P5's in Brooklyn.
She volunteered to do it in blacklight with the show's phone number taped to her bra.
I always encourage the creativity of my collaborators!
That's one thing that I don't think I would ever want to change.

Lucy de Leche

2011-10-13T09:45:00.000-04:00

I don't think people really appreciate how talented, honest, and valuable Lucy deLeche is. There's none of this "Those American Girls" stuff that could have happened without her.

It's not just that she's great at being Alicia American, it's that in real life, she's the opposite of Alicia. Whereas Alicia is based on the women who have actually been in my life, personally torturing me and making me want to die while all my friends and family would side with them in every fight, Lucy is the one person who has always had my back. She's one of the few genuine friends I've ever had and I'll always be loyal to her. Because of Lucy, I can see who is a true friend and who isn't. Because of Lucy, I can get projects finished on time even though my "friends are distracting me and creating false drama and plagiarizing me then smirking at me in unison each time. No matter what they do, as long as Lucy is on my team, we'll keep moving to the next town and doing our show and gaining 1 or 2 new genuine fans per day.

I don't see life the way klout.com sees it. I see it in terms of gathering enough of a small fan base who actually gets what you're doing that you can earn a living at what you love and never have to care about what your "klout score" is ever again. I see the point of life as being able to create a niche for oneself so that one can do one's work, be proud of it and know it's good, and have enough food to eat and enough money for rent. If an artist can do that, his or her work will be remembered and will continue to influence long after he or she is gone.

For those of us drawn to working in media like film or video or music or animation, it's often impossible to do the entire project ourselves. If you're someone like that, you're probably not going to get more than one Lucy deLeche to work or play with per lifetime. When she comes along, you better recognize her.

And the same goes for if a Peter Bernard comes into your life haha.

Rocktober

2011-10-08T11:18:00.000-04:00

Rocktober

Those American Girls

2011-09-29T13:08:00.000-04:00

It only occurred to me recently that some people might have thought I fell off the face of the planet.
I'm just extremely busy lately.
Our cartoon project, Those American Girls, has 25 thousand followers on Twitter
and it's led to more work than Lucy and I can handle so far,
although we're certainly not complaining.
The characters, who are running for President(s), sell the project themselves,
and you can interact with Alicia & Deb on Twitter here:
http://twitter.com/ThoseUSAGirls
Buy their first album here:
http://ow.ly/68RkS

See their latest music video here:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tGboHEAMiNg
& get regular daily (usually) updates from Debbie American here:
http://debbieamerican.blogspot.com

~~~~~~~
If you follow either the Twitter or Debbie's blog,
you'll be up to date on what used to be stuck on this blog.
Only it'll be written by the girls, so you'll like it far better.
~~~~~~~~

Whale Song: Review of the new Claire Kiechel play

2011-08-19T13:27:00.001-04:00

Whale Song or: Learning to Live With Mobyphobia
a New Play by Claire Kiechel
Directed by Brad Raimondo
The Dreamscape Theatre
15^th Annual FringeNYC Festival

“Belief in a future Heaven creates a present Hell.”
~Eckhart Tolle

Is insanity hereditary? If your father was crazy, what does that make you? Are synchronicities really omens and portents, or is your paying attention to them a signal that you are schizophrenic?

Now here's an even bigger question-- how do you take those dark questions and turn them into a really funny play? Only Claire Kiechel could answer that last one, and she answers it in brilliant but wiseass fashion with this new play, “Whale Song.” Here is a writer of serious drama that could have been scripting for the Marx Brothers if she lived in the 1930s (I can DEFINITELY picture her at the Algonquin Round Table).

A writer is only as funny as her performers, and this play is cast extremely well. Each actor has an approach and delivery that maximize the humor while taking nothing away from any sadness or drama; it's a talented cast.

Hollis Witherspoon stars as Maya Swan, a schoolteacher grieving over her father, whose bizarre death- suicide by whale- haunts and humiliates her. The stress of wondering about her own sanity leads to increasingly stressed-out behavior and she begins to hear whale song wherever she goes. At the same time, a different whale shows up in the Hudson River, and Maya becomes convinced all these things are related. Is this her father talking to her? Or some great message just for her?

Maya's devoted boyfriend Mark (played charismatically by Ryan Feyk) can't understand why she won't see him or return his calls any longer. This guy tries so hard to please her that I'm betting half the women in the audience were thinking if she doesn't want him, they'd take him. Feyk plays the boyfriend so charmingly that even while you're laughing at the jokes, you're feeling really badly for him.

But Maya doesn't want the life of TV-watching and frozen food dinners that Mark represents and so “accidentally” falls in with the sincere rocker dude “Shep The Motherfucking Drummer” (played innocently by Jordan Douglas Smith). Maybe Shep is on drugs or crazy too, because he hears the whale song as well... and if you want to know the rest of the story, get a ticket today! Cuz I shall go no further in the spoiler department.

All of the main characters are both very funny and fully-formed, which is not the easiest thing to pull off, trust me. One of my favorites in the play, though, was this deliberately 2-dimensional hot chick TV newsbabe played by Rosie Sowa. Each time she clomps on stage in her mega-heels, you know the next scene is going to be funny. She reminded me of Alicia American (from me, that's a compliment).

Siri Hellerman as Maya's preppy sister Sarah has no doubt at all about her sanity or anything else for that matter, any smugness genes in the family went to her. Hellerman plays it realistically, which works perfectly for this character in this story. Maya's world is cartoon-like as she doubts her sanity, but her sister Sarah lives in the real world, understands money, handles the family business. Their dead father is played by Gavin Starr Kendall in a light fashion (considering he's dead, at least).

In the interest of disclosure, I should state that Ms. Kiechel actually helped me a bit in an uncredited fashion when I was first forming my “Those American Girls” concept. She grew up in Europe and so had a perspective on what people from other places really think of Americans, and she helped me condense my thoughts on that project, for which I'm very grateful. Because I'm biased toward liking what she does, I brought Checker Phil of the Checkerboard Kids television program with me to provide a second opinion. We left the theatre comparing the play to a good meal and wondering what vegetarians say instead of “meaty.” This play is meaty and satisfying but doesn't leave you too full or groggy, haha. Tickets are under $20 and there are only three performances left, so if you want to see something exciting and new that will leave you with a lot to think about AND teach you several new vocabulary words, go see “Whale Song.”

WHALE SONG or: Learning to Live With Mobyphobia
a new play by Claire Kiechel
directed by Brad Raimondo

Three performances left:
Mon, 8/22 at 6pm
Wed, 8/24 at 7pm
Sat, 8/27 at 9:30pm
For Tickets:
http://fringenyc.org
or 866-468-7619
This is part of the FringeNYC Festival and sometimes shows sell out in advance, so reserve your tickets today.
The First Floor Theatre at LaMaMa

74A East 4th Street, NYC

P.S. REAL theatre critics like this play, too! The NY Theatre Review called it, "...surreal and cleverly absurd."

Americast 34: 17K Twitter Lovers

2011-07-28T15:12:00.000-04:00

New weekly
THOSE AMERICAN GIRLS
radio show is online now 4 FREE!
♥❤♥ http://t.co/V4SMeqs ♥❤♥
S/O's 2 @kurt_loder @OrrinHatch @JHSty & MORE♥❤♥

Those American Girls are a Couple of Bums!

2011-07-21T12:59:00.000-04:00

http://TAGamericast.com

Americast 32: Cabs Trump Nature

2011-07-14T12:59:00.000-04:00

Debbie has a modeling gig today so Alicia is doing the podcast by herself!
http://TAGamericast.com

IM SO HOT (Positive Affirmations Song)

2011-07-09T19:44:00.000-04:00

OMG lovers! In honor of our like 15 thousendth follower on tha Twitter,
we R like giving away our NEW SONG! http://TAGamericast.com

Debbie American Fan Service & Dressup Doll!

2011-07-07T15:46:00.000-04:00

Debbie American™ Fan Service Podcast
and Interactive Dressup Doll Kit!
http://peterbernard.com/aablog/?p=209

Alicia's Sexy New Patriotic Song!!

2011-07-04T01:20:00.000-04:00

It's the 4th of July!
But perhaps more importantly,
it's Alicia American's 21st birthday!
So she and Deb have a new PATRIOTIC SONG
for you to download for FREE!
For those who heard the earlier version of this track,
this new one has TWICE the orgasm parts!
http://TAGamericast.com

Alicia & Deb in Search of SKUNK APE!

2011-06-30T10:34:00.000-04:00

Alicia got drunk before starting to record this episode,
then passed out 45 seconds into the show,
leaving poor brainless Debbie to fend for herself
among the dreaded SKUNK APES of Florida!
Listen now for free:
http://TAGamericast.com

Americast 29: Alicia Meets Lucy de Leche

2011-06-23T13:43:00.000-04:00

http://TAGamericast.com

Lucy de Leche
&
Alicia American
in
Alicia American
Meets
Lucy de Leche
Starring both
Lucy de Leche
and
Alicia American
as Themselves!
Written by
Lucy & Peter
Performed by Lucy
©2011 Heroical Masterings
The Moon is a Disco Ball: http://tmiadb.com
http://TAGamericast.com
http://AliciaAmerican.com
http://DebbieAmerican.com
http://ThoseAmericanGirls.com
http://HeroicalMasterings.com
http://209show.com

Those American Girls Americast 28 "Daddy's Day"

2011-06-16T13:29:00.000-04:00

http://TAGamericast.com/

CLICK ON LINK TO READ & LISTEN
http://TAGamericast.com/

*****
http://TAGamericast.com/*****
http://TAGamericast.com/
*****
http://TAGamericast.com/*****
http://TAGamericast.com/
*****

Americast 27: Viewer Phone Calls

2011-06-09T15:04:00.000-04:00

NEWEST PODCAST
plus
SECRETS REVEALED
in the blog section!
CLICK HERE:
http://AliciaAmerican.com

Alicia American's Presidential Announcement!

2011-06-02T18:41:00.000-04:00

NEW VIDEO!http://AliciaAmerican.com
NEW AUDIO!http://AliciaAmerican.com
Lucy DeLeche & Alicia American
http://AliciaAmerican.com

New single from Those American Girls w/Brigitte Doran

2011-05-26T14:15:00.000-04:00

To celebrate their first ten thousand followers on the Twitter
Those American Girls
have released a new dance single they made in collaboration with
up-and-coming Australian soul singer
Brigittte Doran!
Download it 4 Free 2day here:
http://AliciaAmerican.com

Wiping the slime off

2011-05-19T11:41:00.000-04:00

Join Alicia and Debbie American in their bubble bath
and help them chillax after a week of Hollywood-style
waterboarding!
Hooray!
New free podcast starring Alicia and Debbie here:
http://AliciaAmerican.com

Alicia American Naked & On Acid

2011-05-05T09:26:00.000-04:00

'Nuff said.
http://AliciaAmerican.com

Reuniting the Brattles!

2011-04-28T17:44:00.000-04:00

Americast 21 starring Lucy DeLeche and Rachel Cleary is online!
http://AliciaAmerican.com

Debbie American Lost in Newark, NJ

2011-04-21T22:17:00.000-04:00

New radio show by Debbie American
with an explanation by Alicia American here:
http://DebbieAmerican.com

Those American Girls Meet Andy Kaufman's Fave Podcaster!

2011-04-14T11:09:00.000-04:00

Wow, it's amazing how two cartoon characters can do a live interview with a radio host!
Listen to it right now!
http://AliciaAmerican.com
or
http://onsug.com

Is it ever wrong to have sex with everyone?

2011-04-07T21:34:00.000-04:00

Alicia's new podcast looks into the life of a young woman
trying to make it in the music industry.
At least that's one way of describing it!
http://AliciaAmerican.com

Behind the scenes at Alicia American dot com

2011-04-06T20:54:00.000-04:00

ABOVE: Alicia and her engineer/acting coach Lucy DeLeche
in their high-priced recording studio
communicate with some third party in New York via Skype.

Get Off Yer PANTS and DANCE!!

2011-04-06T10:31:00.000-04:00

Click above image to enlarge

THOSE AMERICAN GIRLS
now have 4 thousand followers on Twitter,
so to smellebrate, they've released their new single,
"GET OFF YER PANTS AND DANCE!"
today at their blog,
http://AliciaAmerican.com!

It features theremin by DINO SORBELLO!

SEX and DRUGS with Those American Girls

2011-03-31T07:03:00.000-04:00

It's Debbie American's birthday (tomorrow)
plus Those American Girls
just got their 3,000th follower on Twitter,
so they've got TWO (2) new audio releases today:
Americast 17:
DEBBIE AMERICANgetting MARRIED
on a
REALITY TV SHOW?
and their shocking new hit single,
SEXnDRUGS!
Listen or download for free here:
http://DebbieAmerican.com

Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEBBIE!

Trust me, folks, she'll be 21 or 22 forever--
none of that "Gasoline Alley" bullsh*t going on over here.

Outfielder Fetish

2011-03-24T08:06:00.000-04:00

OMG all those guys are trying to grab Debbie's ass.
NEW FREE PODCAST TODAY
http://DebbieAmerican.com

Those American Girls First 1000 Twitter Followers

2011-03-19T20:05:00.000-04:00

To celebrate their first thousand followers on Twitter, Those American Girls have released a special Twitter-only mix of their next single, "IM SO HOT (Positive Affirmations Song)." http://twitter.com/#!/ThoseUSAGirls

St. Patrick's Day with Debbie & Alicia

2011-03-17T10:19:00.000-04:00

Listen now:
http://AliciaAmerican.com
http://DebbieAmerican.com

Alicia American says:
"Follow us on Twitter, lovers!
Our Street Teem just got us over 500 followers!
Mad props to tha krew in NYC!
Miss u guys! XOXO :)"
http://ThoseAmericanGirls.com
http://twitter.com/ThoseUSAGirls

"How to Control a Man"

2011-03-10T14:02:00.001-05:00

New free online radio show byTHOSE AMERICAN GIRLS
Alicia and Debbie American in
"How to Control a Man!"
http://peterbernard.com/aablog/?p=90

Debbie's Maui Wowie

2011-03-03T07:55:00.000-05:00

New "Those American Girls" Americast audio download online at
http://DebbieAmerican.com

Archetypes

2011-03-03T05:53:00.000-05:00

I seem to view the world largely in terms of archetypes, and have done so since I was a kid.
I never remembered people's names very well, either in real life or in movies or TV shows.

In film school, I had one teacher whose tests consisted of asking if you remembered the name of the maid in the throwaway scene or if you remembered the favorite shoe of the incidental character in the other film.
I fumed that it wasn't a test so much as a trivia quiz.
Eckhart Tolle, in one of his many lectures available in audio format,
insists that he can't remember names but it doesn't imply any disrespect for the reality of the person behind the name. The audience laughed when he said this, they weren't buying it.
That was his excuse, and this one is mine: archetypes.
I don't expect you to buy it any more than Tolle's audience did, but I may as well finish explaining the theory.

On a recent project, I'd been fleshing out into a full treatment a one page idea written by one of the producers. She had the wives of the main characters doing things, I began separating them into individuals with the help of the original author. By the end, we had specific ideas about their personalities and looks, but we still were referring to them as "Mrs. This" and "Mrs. That." Neither of us felt the need to name them other than in terms of their relationship to the main character, however, we had given them all back story and motivation so that they could each write their own lines practically in any situation we put them in.

In this new long-form fiction thing I'm working on, the main character is a mix of two historical figures, several fictional characters, and myself. His supernatural girlfriend is DEFINITELY based on one of my own personal supernatural ex-girlfriends, and the woman he wishes he could be with instead is based on two actual women who were unrequited loves of two of the historical figures. So for now, while writing, they all have names which remind me of who they are based on, so I keep them in character throughout. Dumb names, the kind Joyce would use-- haha just kidding.

OK time to make the podcast, speaking of archetypal figures.

Is it wrong to write "HO" on your friend's back?

2011-02-24T16:39:00.000-05:00

Listen to the latest podcast starring Lucy and Rachel as Alicia and Debbie!
http://AliciaAmerican.com

A Mighty Wind

2011-02-19T13:06:00.000-05:00

Last night it was 63 degrees out when I was walking to Jon Montgomery's debut performance of his new all-star supergroup The New York Blues Project. Such a beautiful night, hard not to be in a good mood. The packed, friendly, excited house loved what they heard, and chanted when it was over for the star drummer Bleu Ocean (who used to be the live drummer playing behind the Monkees back in their original tours, among other cool career credits). Jon is a living legend and he associates with others of the same ilk. They're already talking about playing Europe and so forth, it feels like an exciting start.

Walking home from the cool old 60's style club on 78th Street across from the Museum, the weather had gotten a bit colder, but MUCH windier. All these pretty women out in stilt heels and flouncy dresses, all walking backwards against the wind, trying in vain to hold their skirts down against the extreme gusts. Life is free entertainment if you just look all around you.

Today, I was walking to Trump to see Horus cat and the wind was so strong, it almost knocked me backwards off the stairs as I approached the building! I saw a guy accidentally get tangled in a woman's dog leash! The wind was more extreme than I've ever seen it in New York, which is saying something.

I am excited this weekend to be working on co-creating female characters with a woman with an international reputation in animation. I'm doing a lot of writing and drawing as well as playing with Horus and brushing him. It's a very busy time but I feel extremely grateful to literally have too many things to do in the time allotted. Which reminds me, I'd better get back to it.

Hmm, no illustrations for this blog entry, that's odd for me. But maybe it's appropriate that a blog post about wind should be filled with nothing but my hot air.

Public Drunkenness in Paris!

2011-02-17T09:06:00.000-05:00

New AMERICAST from Paris just uploaded today!
http://aliciaamerican.com/

How to Be the Hottest Chick

2011-02-10T14:14:00.002-05:00

Alicia American here!
Our new podcast is up at http://AliciaAmerican.com!
Oh my god vote for me (the redhead) to be your Valentine here:
http://peterbernard.com/aablog/aavote.html
or vote for Debbie (the blonde one) here:
http://peterbernard.com/aablog/votedebbie.html

But why you would vote for Deb I do not know. Love ya, Deb!

A Date with Debbie!

2011-01-27T13:24:00.000-05:00

BRAND NEW!
A Date with Debbie American!
http://DebbieAmerican.com/
http://ThoseAmericanGirls.com
“Everyone likes white women! Except if they’ve got an Asian girlfriend, of course.”
~~Debbie American

Debbie's Weed Vacation!!

2011-01-20T09:35:00.002-05:00

Of course, we would NEVER advocate the use of any illegal herbs or chemicals.
LISTEN NOW FOR FREE:
http://debbieamerican.com/

Written by Peter Bernard, performed by Rachel Cleary.

See Rachel Cleary tomorrow night (January 21, 2011) on TLC’s “FOUR WEDDINGS.”
Keep watching to see if Rachel and her voice actor partner Lloyd Floyd win!
WILL THEY ACTUALLY GET MARRIED ON NATIONAL TELEVISION TOMORROW NIGHT?

Open music by Belly Brain, background music by Robin Hood and his Black Brothers
Copyright ©MMXI Peter Bernard

Sarah Palin Blood Libel CARTOON!

2011-01-18T17:02:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's an animated cartoon now, go here to watch:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f7b288348d/sarah-palin-blood-libel-and-everything
Alicia American's IMPORTANT MESSAGE about BLOOD LIBEL and SARAH PALIN!

Those American Girls FIRST SINGLE!

2011-01-13T15:03:00.000-05:00

http://peterbernard.com/aablog/?p=42
It's Alicia and Debbie American performing their first dance hit!
Download it now for free on iTunes!

Palin Blood Libel! Plus Positive Affirmations! (MP3)

2011-01-13T12:23:00.000-05:00

Brand new AMERICAST is online starring BOTH
Alicia AND Debbie American!
http://ThoseAmericanGirls.com
http://AliciaAmerican.com
http://DebbieAmerican.com
COMING LATER TODAY:
Those American Girls
FIRST iTUNES SINGLE!

Alicia's Facebook Worries (new podcast)

2011-01-06T08:51:00.000-05:00

Alicia's Facebook Worries
New podcast online now:
http://aliciaamerican.com/

Singing Christmas Toy!

2010-12-25T15:49:00.000-05:00

I blame the coquito.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBqMyh4qlc

Life's a Pic-a-Nic!

2010-12-24T18:45:00.000-05:00

Don't worry! Santa is on his way!

Alicia's Americast #1

2010-12-09T09:39:00.000-05:00

12/09/10: AMERICAST ONE: Waiting for Debbie (2:33)
Hi, it's me, Alicia American from http://theamericangirls.info
with my first-ever internet podcasty radio thingy!
LISTEN TO THE FIRST EPISODE NOW HERE:
http://peterbernard.com/alicia/americast/aliciaamericastweb001.mp3
FRIEND ME ON FACEBOOK, LOVERS!
http://www.facebook.com/people/Alicia-America/100001885262314
Free web poster of Alicia American and Ashley Mitchell by Peter Bernard:
http://peterbernard.com/alicia/aapinup001web.jpg
Starring Ashley Mitchell, written by and Copyright © 2010 Peter Bernard & Ashley Mitchell.
http://AliciaAmerican.com

No rest for the talented

2010-11-30T09:44:00.000-05:00

Actress Ashley Mitchell captured by paparazzi photog in Strawberry Fields, studying her latest script.

"Call Us Cowboys" Live Theater Review

2010-11-27T12:02:00.000-05:00

“CALL US COWBOYS” Live Theater Review

Ashley Mitchell is an extremely unique actress/writer/director who is so good at performing comedy that she took a supporting role I gave her and turned it into a starring role without changing a word of dialogue. I've become convinced while animating her voice work that she is one of the finest comedy actors I've ever heard or seen. There's no way that what I wrote was half as funny as what she read! This woman, I thought, is born to do comedy and will be making people laugh their asses off for many years to come.

Last night was the first time I ever saw Ashley perform drama, in the play “Call Us Cowboys,” at Roy Arias Theater, and I'm at a loss to put into words how blown away I was by her moving performance. Anything I write down just seems like I'm kissing ass and you won't believe me because I work with her, but I don't work with her doing drama. I have no reason to encourage her to do that!!! I need her to do my funny cartoons! Also, I've worked with some decent actors over the years, I think, going back to CHUD when I was a kid, haha (Daniel Stern, John Heard). Ashley can do things I've never seen an actor be able to do before. I don't just mean laugh on cue or cry on cue with real tears (which she does painfully convincingly), but this girl was commanding the attention of the audience sometimes even when she turned her back to us. I don't only think that she would stand out in small theater productions like this one, I think she would stand out even among the most accomplished of performers. This girl is in her early 20s and after the show I saw actors older than her asking her to go into teaching. But although Ashley's techniques are clearly well thought out, and she could probably make any actor better, there would be no way to teach someone how to be as good as Ashley Mitchell.

See? I told you, it sounds like I'm kissing butt. This is one of my problems with live plays-- there's no evidence left after the performance, it's disappeared already into the ether. If it were a youtube video, I could PROVE my points by linking you to it, but because it was live, you only have word of mouth to go on. Live theater is so ephemeral. If you can check this play out tonight or tomorrow afternoon, you'll be able to see for yourself what I'm saying, but if you miss those shows, you'll never know what you missed.

The play itself is intense and sad, about the effects of war on people's lives. There are flashback scenes of Viet Nam and Iraq, and Aki Tsuchimoto stood out most in those scenes with her quirky and interesting performance as a Viet Namese artist who gets close to the wrong Yankee. But the play comes alive in the scenes of domestic quarreling between Ashley's character Wanda and her husband Frank, played by Kevin Ploth. At points I felt like I had been trapped at my parent's house after Thanksgiving, so genuine was the writing and the performance of domestic bliss turned to an ongoing and worsening, inescapable Hell.

I thought the ending, without getting into details, was a bit “deux ex machina” as written but the remarkable way Ashley chose to perform the scene was the main topic of conversation among the audience after the show, from what I could overhear. I don't want to give spoilers concerning the plot details, but let's just say that Ms. Mitchell managed to do things not written in the script and not using words at all (!) to completely sell the ending of the play and make it seem entirely emotionally satisfying and believable. She'll make the hairs on your arm stand on end and you will know you have witnessed something very special.

Although the play was well-written and all the actors did their jobs, my thought leaving there was, “I bet I could even give Ashley ten pages of gibberish to act out but by the end of it, she'd have the audience crying or laughing or feeling whatever she wanted them to feel.” She's just out of school and has no representation yet-- a situation not likely to last all that much longer. The idea that her skills are likely to improve with time is nearly frightening.

I'll tell you now the same thing I told her after the show: Ashley Mitchell has acting super powers.

Ashley Mitchell in
Call Us Cowboys written by Bruce Colbert and directed by Jorge Navarrete
Roy Arias Theater, 300 West 43^rd Street, 5^th Floor, 212-957-8358
FINAL TWO PERFORMANCES:
Tonight (Saturday 11/27) 8pm, tomorrow (Sunday 11/28) 3 pm
http://royariasstudios.com/
http://www.ashleymitchell.net/

Best Breakfast in Saugerties, New York

2010-11-09T10:45:00.001-05:00

If you're not seeing the video, try going here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_VPgDrOxDw

Having a Great Time...

2010-11-06T21:29:00.001-04:00

...Wishing You Were Here!

http://theamericangirls.info

Queens: Land of Majesty and Wonder... or something

2010-10-27T20:11:00.000-04:00

I was riding the train to Queens in the rain, wondering why this seemed logical to me and simultaneoulsy wondering about my sanity. As I got off the train, the first thing I saw was a rainbow. The rain was letting up.
After I took the above photo, other people stopped and took pictures too.
I'm not sure they would have noticed, everyone was in a rush and unhappy because of the weather or for whatever other reason.


As would be appropriate after a deluge, the God of water greeted me. They have giant spiders in Queens, they come out of huge pumpkins and assault houses!

Reminds me of the GWB.

418 Show #5 plus MYSTERY CAT VIDEO

2010-10-19T09:48:00.001-04:00

418 Show #5, Live from the woods in Saugerties, NY
Running time around 19:55

I apologize for speaking so quietly in this audio, I was sitting on the swing on the front porch as people were leaving the area in droves to bring their kids back to school the next day,

Audio Link: http://onsug.com/archives/4261
Contents of audio:
Robot intro, closing the cabin door, swinging on the porch, there's the chipmunk, humans are squirrels, thinking about family and kids, white kids can be annoying, be happy with what you've got, people staring at me, I want a hot meal, cabins and tents vs. Washington Heights, squirrels-- playing or mating?, maybe I should be a “serious artist” instead of trying to make people happy, Jim Morrison's shamanism, the day I died, lay people becoming interested in shamanism, Skidoo, Cary Grant, Monkey Business, organic food supermarkets, trees all colors, wanted hot breakfast, enter zen through fried mushrooms, territorial pissings, look out for low stone fences, I am not an expert of anything, I know nothing about show business, music or anything else, in NYC people tell me who it would be good to work with, the chipmunk is living under my cabin, I never understood bar hopping, here comes a tractor trailer.

Chipmunk video: http://209show.com/418/chipmunkvid01.html

Photos related to this episode:
http://snevilistic.blogspot.com/2010/10/pictures-of-saugerties-and-woodstock.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mystery cat video-- please help me solve the mystery of what this cat was:
Around 10 after 7 am on the morning of 10/15/10, the birds started making a fuss and I looked out the screen door of the cabin to see a cat run past from left to right. I had not seen ANY cats the entire time I was up there but saw plenty of chipmunks and squirrels. I grabbed the camera and turned it on and ran outside. I saw the cat sitting in the dark. I tried to lure it out by talking cat language to it. When it finally came out into the light, it was larger than I had realized and I'm sort of glad it was scared of me.
Video and photos here:
http://209show.com/418/spottedcat.html
It looks sort of like a bobcat but has a long fluffy tail. Maybe it's a large house cat mixed with a wild cat? If you can solve this puzzle, please forward along your findings to peter@peterbernard.com.

NEXT: Interview with Cherie of Cafe Mezzaluna!

Pictures of Saugerties and Woodstock.

2010-10-16T09:28:00.000-04:00

Went north to Saugerties/Woodstock for a week.

The bus had a 209 in its name, prompting me to contemplate "fate" as I rode north.
I listened to episodes of The Rampler. He was talking about the same things I was thinking,
and he was broadcasting from the Port Authority I had just ridden out of.
It all seemed as though this must be part of the script and I should just play my part.

Here's where I stayed.

Here's what I read. (Meditation book a gift from Checker Phil)

Many spiders came to keep me company all over the floor.

Swing on the porch-- much appreciated and used.

Cafe Mezzaluna:
This is the best place to get breakfast in this area, and I hear the place is really happening on Sundays.
Also, this is where Jimmy Fallon hangs out when he comes back to visit his family up here--
at least that's what they tell me.

Art inside the Cafe.

Fresh Brown Eggs!

This beer is 50 cents a can and available only from Stewart's which I think is a gas station.
The label looks like it was drawn by a teenage hillbilly and it tastes like Schaeffer.

Lake.

Apparently the first white people to live up here were my people--
Lutherans from Germany.

There were older tombstones, I shot video that I have to sift through as well.
I'll at last send it to my sister, she's into all this cemetery stuff.

At the crossroads in my life.

418 Show episode #4 now online

2010-10-09T15:01:00.002-04:00

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN ON ONSUG.COM:
http://onsug.com/archives/4171
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
418 Show #4 Recorded 10/09/2010 Running time approx. 13:30

NOTE: To see the video referred to in the intro to this episode, download the quicktime file from here:
http://209show.com/418/418show100910vidextra.mov

CONTENTS OF AUDIO EPISODE:
INTRO (video intro), Frankie the Good Luck Black Cat, been sick for a week, getting ready to go upstate and not think, sitting in the forest for a week, projects with or without partners, "writing:" what is it?, What is "cartooning?," work in service to the idea, "writing" for other media as opposed to "real" "writing," my antipathy for theory being taught in school as fact, John K's cartoon theories, going upstate, 418 Show as a sign of a change in direction for me, discovery of a lost D&D notebook from the 1980's, doing things not meant to be shown to other people, working with partners, not bringing a computer on my 5-day trip, if I survive, I will talk again soon.

Checker Phil and the Mystery Art

2010-10-08T19:23:00.001-04:00

Esteemed public access producer Checker Phil
studies the mysterious art in the windows of the Roger Williams Hotel.
Who created this art? Well... we both forgot to make note of the artist's name.
And I can't find anything about it on the hotel's website!
If you can end this enigma for us, please do so,

because I don't feel like walking all the way back there.

Is mystery.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ADDENDUM
The mystery has been solved for us by Frank Edward Nora, better known as podcaster The Rampler!
The exhibit is called, "Yeon Jin Kim: All Intelligent Animals Are Dangerous"
Thanks Frank! Check out Frank's great internet radio website here:
http://onsug.com

Horus Cat Update

2010-09-29T19:20:00.000-04:00

Horus is a TV programmer

Horus in 3D

Blocking the door so the human can't leave

Stuff which is in progress

2010-09-19T20:59:00.000-04:00

Banana for Breakfast

2010-09-19T13:13:00.000-04:00

Walking north today to find a place to eat breakfast.

Trader Joe's = the Banana Store.

Nineteen cents per banana = 5 for 95 cents = LOOOONG LINES.

Prepare to wait to get out of there.

My Papi is attending Yale.

Novelties!

69 cent 50 oz. water + 95 cent bananas = $1.64 breakfast and lunch for Peter.

All in the shadow of Horus Greeley.

418 Show #3 on onsug.com

2010-09-17T13:07:00.000-04:00

We're now on the front page of ONSUG.COM!

http://onsug.com/archives/3856
418 Show #3 (September 2010)
20:50 – 418 Show (with Peter Bernard)
Contents: Thank you, Frank Nora! Onsug.com, open title, 9th Avenue, recording mono, one of my favorite things about Frank Nora’s show, the 2 realities merge, seeing a lot of 411’s today, 50 cent hot dogs at Gray’s Papaya, eating garbage and then eating good things, infomercial for P90X, can’t breathe or hear, Peter Pan is good luck, another 411 on the Greyhound bus, What was I saying? Resistance band! Crazy whistling parrot woman, heading toward Trump Place, opening the door to Horus Cat Land, Horus has an announcement, picture of Horus cat and Trump Place, Fed Horus, played with him, very nice inside, almost going to rain, ridiculous loudness in NYC, truck with car on the back of it, whistling woman part two, a parrot’s biological imperative, watching Horus cat, description of interior of Trump Place, right near the Projects, mix of cultures, only the Trachtenburgs see me as part of their tribe, rich and poor side by side, Western Beef supermarket, I don’t actually eat as much meat as I used to, TV DINNERS!!! I am a caveman, I eat raw potatoes, Stan Lee’s Super Humans, Time Warner DVR sucks, long review of Stan Lee show and the uplifting concept of humans being able to will themselves to have super powers, Horus cat has final statement.
Images referred to in episode: http://209show.com/418/episode3images.jpg

Attribution: by Peter Bernard – more info at 209show.com
Released September 2010 on The Overnightscape Underground (onsug.com), an Internet talk radio channel focusing on a freeform monologue style, with diverse and fascinating hosts.

All New! Never Before Seen!

2010-09-07T21:20:00.000-04:00

New PeterBernard.com!

New Peter Bernard's New York website!

New Peter Bernard's New York VIDEO featuring
SUMMER THE CLOWN!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce6Qezc4d90
More NEW Peter Bernard's New York episodes coming SOON!

SuperCute busking on St. Mark's Place

2010-09-05T02:10:00.000-04:00

It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your children are?

I hope to have a video of this up soon.

Thanks to Marie and Tina. And SuperCute!

I like their originals better than their covers, but when they do Pink Floyd it sounds a LOT better than Robert Waters or whatever that guy's name is.
I got MY cd for only THREE dollars!
Rachel refused to take my money so I paid Tina instead, haha.

Trachtenburgs, Tohm, Michele and more

2010-08-29T18:33:00.000-04:00

Spent last night doing a project with the Trachtenburg Family. In the middle, Tohm Lev showed up and contributed greatly to the proceedings. More about that some other time.

The night before, I had gone to the Rosie Rebel show at the art star theater, and it was really good, even though it was hot in there and smelled weird in the back, haha. Rosie was great, she had new bra props and her "rubbing a banana against her breasts" routine never fails to entertain. Mandy Stadtmiller was an excellent hostess and SuperCute! sang a great anti-drug song and put on a fashion show of outfits they had created themselves. A lot of people picked on models because there was an anti-fashion theme to the show. Reverend Jen had a slide show of a chihuahua fashion show. All the art star cast members made an appearance, and Reverend Billy gave a blessing in the beginning. I thought Rosie did a very good job organizing the event.

A few nights back, I went to Michele Carlo's book party at the Tenement Museum, and it was as packed as Rosie's show, and as big a success! Michele is becoming a star, and it couldn't happen to a nicer or more deserving person. Congratulations, Michele!!!

For nerds only

2010-08-26T00:12:00.000-04:00

I let my nerdy side out in this podcast-- err, I mean, "INTERNET RADIO SHOW." Which means "podcast."

http://onsug.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=101&p=401#p401

Episode contents:
Gorman Park, explanation of Washington Heights, Can't hear lightning, Park as staircase or staircase as park, Park as castle, What parks exist in the west 30's in Manhattan?, Walking from the ghetto into the forest, How do you pronounce detritus?, Santeria in the forest, Redbird in the City, Cardinals built into Gorman Park fences, Raccoon walking down Pinehurst Avenue, The source of skunk smell, The mellow forest rat, Lightning!, Coney Island, Richard Shaver, Timothy Green Beckley, Mr. Creepo, PERSONAL MESSAGE TO FRANK, 418 license plate, Box with a dirty rock in it that proves that humans are controlled by underground robots, Frank should meet Tim, I have a cold or something, Outro.

The footage of the bird I think was a cardinal:
http://209show.com/418/redbirdinthecity.mov
Now I understand why Bigfoot footage is so blurry, haha.

Intro and outro music by Bellybrain, Kurt Cobain, Ringo Starr, The Cramps, and William Bendix:
http://peterbernard.com/mp3/venusback.html

Who ARE These People?

2010-08-25T00:09:00.000-04:00

Just establishing copyright here!

Fall is here! Practically!

2010-08-24T13:03:00.000-04:00

It's under 70 degrees for days now in NYC, and the leaves are on the ground as though it were Halloween already! Yes, I'm making a post about the weather. Autumn and Spring are the two best times of year in New York City.

Girls and monsters

2010-08-10T00:42:00.000-04:00

I asked two people what they thought I was best at drawing. One said girls and cats. The other said girls and monsters. Today, we have a girl and a monster.

Which is which??

Irish Dancer 209

2010-08-08T11:23:00.000-04:00

My niece Abby as Irish Dancer 209! Photo by my sister Anne-Marie.

Coming Soon

2010-08-04T20:08:00.000-04:00

Horus Cat Meets the Laser Pointer God!

Coming Soon

Big UCB News from Angel Yau!

2010-08-02T12:48:00.003-04:00

PHOTO BY PAUL GALE
DEL CLOSE MARATHON
by Angel Yau
So the Del Close Marathon is 72 hours of improv straight (with a 30 minute cleaning
break every few hours or so, over 150 shows for the weekend) mostly at the UCB
Theatre although they also rented other stages nearby. It started
Friday at 4pm with the UCB Press Conference (Matt Besser, Matt Walsh
and Ian Roberts) and the big news they shared was that they
have a new space opening called UCB EAST! It's a 150
seat theater (a bit smaller than the current UCB). They are planning to open
the new theatre in late 2011... It's going to be at 3rd and Avenue A.
The current UCB Theatre will continue to operate as its main stage for improv and of course ASSSCAT.
They said, "[UCB East is] going to have all different kinds of comedy.
The same way this will be heavily improv, that will be heavily standup. You
will be able to do things that you can't do in a club in the Midwest."
And this place will also be fully equipped with a bar.
I wasn't there for all 72 hours but I was there every day videotaping most of the live shows. There
were definitely dedicated fans. The Theatre was constantly packed no matter
what time of day it was. One of the final shows on Sunday was Walsh and Roberts
making grilled cheese sandwiches for the audience because they knew everyone was hungry.
It was definitely fun and I got to see most of my LA UCB friends again.
Here are some highlights
already posted up at http://ucbcomedy.com
(as you can see I was part of the crew)
http://www.ucbcomedy.com/videos/play/6751/del-close-marathon-12-day-1-july-30th-2010 http://www.ucbcomedy.com/videos/play/6755/del-close-marathon-12-day-2-july-31th-2010

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE MOON IS A DISCO BALL
is MOVING!

I believe Lucy (right) is moving to the LIGHT side of the Disco Ball Moon,
whilst Bethany Noel (left) remains on the DARK side.
Or VICE VERSA!
Good luck to The Moon is a Disco Ball!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NEW WEBSITE FOR LISA PETERS!

If you want the latest pix and news about Irish model Lisa Peters
then check out her new website:
http://lisapetersmusic.com
You can see recent modelling shots as well as the video of Lisa on national
television this week.
Lisa claims she will have daily updates there.
Good luck to Lisa, the model/singer who co-created the 209 Show with Peter
Bernard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://209show.com

Checker Phil vs. Horus Cat

2010-07-23T19:45:00.000-04:00

Actually no "versus" about it. Phil came over to discuss business with Horus Cat. Phil wants Horus to invest in his ventures. At the time we went to press, Horus was not returning our phone calls asking for details.

Angel show CANCELED tonight due to illness

2010-07-21T10:16:00.001-04:00

Angel Yau has canceled her performance tonight in Queens because she has suffered an eye injury and needs to heal herself. Angel says she's getting better and nobody should worry, but she is sorry that she cannot perform tonight.

Angel Yau LIVE this Wednesday in Queens!

2010-07-18T19:13:00.002-04:00

Boisterous Celebration Improv/Stand-Up Show
Wednesday, July 21 at 8:00pm
Location: The Creek and The Cave
1093 Jackson Avenue
Long Island City, NY 11101-5756
(718) 706-8783
FREE SHOW * NO DRINK MINIMUM

The things you see

2010-07-18T15:25:00.001-04:00

Mannequins have different proportions uptown.

420 Barrett Funeral Home.

This one's for Frank Wood, but not in a gay way.

Getting close to Horus Cat's place.

Horus Cat's old-fashioned homey-home on the right.

Where is he?

There he is!

2 new comedy videos from my favorite musicians!

2010-07-08T23:16:00.000-04:00

When I grew up, all popular musicians understood the need that they also be talented professional comedians. This concept got lost at some point, but not to our own lovely and talented "The Moon is a Disco Ball" from Orlando, Florida.

New presents from Lucy and Bethany I mean DeLeche and Avello!

Who are these women?

2010-07-02T13:41:00.002-04:00

Look! Lisa went grunge and has formed a Grateful Dead cover band with these hippie chicks!

...or something.

Actually, this is down time at one of her model shoots today.

Marie Mundaca's Birthday

2010-06-26T10:35:00.001-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKsYqsO4Ngk

Lisa getting ready for the big beauty pageant

2010-06-23T10:39:00.002-04:00

Lisa was just writing to me online from the beauty parlor, giving me a verbal preview of what is to come. Apparently her hair is now the hair of a superstar or superhero, from the way she described it. All of us in the States have to just wait though to see it. I'm incredibly jealous of everyone in Dublin right now. If you love Lisa Peters and you're in Dublin, go to Lillie's Bordello (a classy place even with that name, haha) tomorrow (Thursday) night for the MIss Hotspots competition. Apparently there will be TV celebrities there (famous in Ireland at least) and it should be a really big deal.

Lisa, people all over the world are rooting you on! So you have worldwide permission to go ahead and be great!

The Littlest Mothman

2010-06-23T00:09:00.001-04:00

Lisa says: "It looks like a crow!"

Characters I'm not sure what to do with part 1

2010-06-22T21:16:00.002-04:00

SKULL HEAD SASQUATCH

SLINK E. CAT

THE GLUM (Depressed Clay Gollum)

COMING SOON

2010-06-15T14:57:00.002-04:00

SEXY new Angel Yau video coming soon to YouTube!

"She is looking good!" ~~ Lisa Peters

Jimmy Dean has died.

2010-06-15T10:01:00.002-04:00

Jimmy Dean of pork sausage fame has died. Probably most people are not aware that he was a country music entertainer for years before going into the dead pig business. In fact, he used to have his own TV show, shot here in Manhattan. My aunt was his secretary, so I had a ROWLF autographed photo before Sesame Street came on the air. Jim Henson used to do the Rowlf character on the Jimmy Dean show back then.

Much more recently, Ashly Covington, who had done voice-overs for me on some of my cartoons, did a hand job for old Jimmy. I mean, she did hand modeling in one of his ads!!! Yes, that's actually what they call it, a hand job. She had her hands all over Jimmy's sausage. You can't make these things up.

Rest in peaace, Jimmy Dean!
http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/books/blog/2010/06/jimmy_dean_dead_at_81_my_vote.html

OpenFM Flash Mob Henry Street

2010-06-07T19:53:00.000-04:00

Ha! Lisa Peters is in this from about 1:18 on, in the grey hoodie, dancing in this flash mob.
MUCH better than the other video I linked to on the 209 Show blog.

New York Stories Project

2010-06-07T16:08:00.002-04:00

Red Hook with Michele Carlo

2010-06-06T13:01:00.004-04:00

Spent the day Saturday at an Arts Fair in Red Hook, Brooklyn. I had never been to this place before, it's like a million miles from anything. On the map, it looks closer to Manhattan than it does to the closest subway stop in Brooklyn. I met Michele there because she had hired me to videotape her project she is doing for the Brooklyn Council on the Arts. If I can capture and edit that footage in time, it will be my PBNYC on YouTube for tomorrow. I'd put captions on the photos but Blogger has made that so incredibly time-consuming and difficult and annoying, plus it is already over 90 degrees today, so the pix will have to speak for themselves.

Afterward, Michele took me to buy me a Guinness at a little seaman's bar that dated back to the 1800's. Lots of very faded pix of naked ladies all over the walls.
These days they have art showings and bands playing in the back.
It's a very weird neighborhood -- thanks to Michele for showing me around!

The Horus Cat Interview

2010-05-31T12:02:00.000-04:00

Insert Polish Joke Here

2010-05-27T09:05:00.002-04:00

"Insert," get it?

http://www.thenews.pl/national/artykul132388_game-in-secondary-school-gets-five-pregnant.html

Q: Why don't they teach sex education in Poland?
A: Because they want all their teenage girls to get randomly pregnant!

No, it's not funny, but it certainly is a joke.

And America is just as stipid with Bush's "Abstinence-Only Sex Education," which is an oxymoron.

We live in the dark ages. And we did this to ourselves.

"You're still fucking peasants as far as I can see." ~~John Lennon

Andy Kaufman FAKES HIS OWN MARRIAGE!

2010-05-26T07:09:00.000-04:00

See attached, which I lifted from the Andy Kaufman facebook page. The NICE Andy's facebook page I mean, not the cranky bitter one. It was an awesome episode of Fridays. Andy announced he had found God and was going to marry this Christian lady. He brought her out and they kissed. They sang gospel songs and utterly bored/confused the audience for the entire hour. At one point he was about to introduce The Pretenders but when the audience misbehaved, he made them pull the curtain back and wouldn't let the Pretenders sing-- you can see them cracking up behind him-- the only time I ever saw any of the Pretenders laughing. He lectured the audience that drugs are bad-- it was completely unfunny-- SO FUNNY. Also so ironic that two of the Pretenders later died from drugs.

Ever since I had my heart broken earlier this year, I've wished I could have a woman make an honest man out of me and rescue me from all the teenage girls constantly stalking and obsessing over me. But it takes an honest woman to make an honest man! Hmmm, that sounds like the title of a lost DEVO song... Until then, it's fake marriages and real stalkers for me I suppose. But I do wish I could "settle down" and have some sort of a family before I die. Or fake my death. Whichever comes first.

Phone call from my internet stalker

2010-05-25T21:21:00.000-04:00

The hater wrote me on facebook so I blocked my facebook. So today they've been emailing me and now I got this phone call:
http://peterbernard.com/hatercall52510.mp3

If this continues I will be going to the authorities. This girl sounds deranged and possibly underage.

209 Show News!

2010-05-24T12:02:00.002-04:00

New 209 Show news is here: http://209show.blogspot.com/2010/05/209-show-news-for-5242010.html

Open Letter to My Stalker ...

2010-05-24T08:24:00.002-04:00

. . .

Tony Cliftton Front-Paged on Funny or Die!!!!

2010-05-23T14:13:00.001-04:00

Click to enlarge, that's my Tony clip on the lower left there under USER PICKS! The users of Funny or Die are much cooler than on most other video sites. Here's a direct link to the Tony video but BE WARNED-- not only is this video unfit for children, it's unfit for anyone with any decency whatsoever: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5b01d63741/tony-clifton-pedophile-jokes

HAPPY SNEVIL DAY!

2010-05-22T06:57:00.003-04:00

Today is GREY CAT DAY, the holiest day on the Snevilist calendar. Celebrate with loved ones! The wife and I are celebrating by going to the TOUCH A TRUCK STREET FESTIVAL on 64th Street between Broadway and Central Park West. You're invited!

Lisa Marie

2010-05-22T00:27:00.001-04:00

The professional photos aren't back yet, here's a shot from Lisa's laptop. We were inspired and moved by Lynne Margulies' decision to get married in Ireland. Sorry we didn't invite you guys, Lisa and I are so private. Lynne has emailed me her approval, which for us counts practically as much as a blessing.

Babies are so cute

2010-05-20T21:54:00.001-04:00

Click to enlarge.

Oh how I hated 1998. Until 1999 started.

Brat Girl

2010-05-20T14:38:00.000-04:00

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I always liked Brat Girl but I never really figured out what to do with her. She's really happy when she's tripping, but cranky most of the rest of the time.

Conspiracy Theorists

2010-05-19T21:26:00.002-04:00

Click the pic to read it.

From March 2000

Click to enlarge

2010-05-18T11:22:00.000-04:00

Looks like a Lisa Peters trading card! Text that info to that number if you want Lisa to be spokesmodel for Planet Beach in Ireland and get her own spa or something. She looks so TANNED in that photo, probably good for a beach-oriented gig. GOOD LUCK LISA!

A-Rod part 2

2010-05-18T11:16:00.001-04:00

Bad blurry shot of the crowd outside watching A-Rod eat lunch inside yesterday. It was a crazy scene, with a live mariachi band and so forth. I only went outside to check it at the end because I had been busy talking to Lisa online. I mean, YES there was a riot outside but I was talking to Lisa!!! One needs to have priorities in life. Anyway, by the time I got the camera to re-focus, A-Rod had been chauffeured away.

He ate there last year and then hit a home run that night. So it was no surprise as I came home last night around 11 that people were streaming out of my building and running screaming toward the restaurant. I knew that A-Rod had hit a home run, haha. I went upstairs and sure enough, the tv was replaying the home run. The TV my roommate had left unattended as he ran downstairs to "The A-Rod restaurant" to celebrate.

New from The Moon!

2010-05-16T22:47:00.004-04:00

Two colorings

2010-05-16T10:09:00.000-04:00

The blonde is probably better but the brunette looks more like the original model, according to the historical records left over from back then.